None of you are ever allowed to say bad things about Spider-Man 3 again.

Note: This review was written under the influence of several beers and one Monster Energy drink in order to best approach the mindset of Venom’s marketing. Drink responsibly.

South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have had a mantra in their writer’s room to never allow “and then” into their storytelling. The principle behind this is in stories being more than just a series of bullet-points. Every story is about people committing to actions, those actions having a consequence; rinse, repeat throughout history. Or rather, that’s how most good stories are told.

You may be asking yourself “why is this writer bringing up an outdated, formerly-clever hot topic of pop culture?” It’s because we need to talk about Venom. Continue reading